My Life in Movies

(Something completely silly I wrote a few years ago when snowed in and bored)

Movie my brothers got taken to see while my mother was giving birth to me:
Return of the Jedi

First movie I can remember seeing in a theater (the library screening room, IIRC):
The Fox and the Hound

Movie I fiercely fought back tears at, because I was a tough girl at the ripe old age of 6:
All Dogs Go to Heaven

Movies that, embarrassingly, can always make me cry:
Hardball
Tomorrow Is Forever

Movies I can quote every single line of dialogue to because we rented them repeatedly and/or taped them off TV:
Follow that Bird
Robin Hood
National Velvet
The Little Mermaid
Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown
What About Bob?

Movie we got to watch if it rained at recess:
The Neverending Story 2

Movies that my childhood best friend would watch only certain scenes of, over and over:
The Wizard of Oz (flying monkeys)
Return of the Jedi (Ewoks dancing)
Meet Me in St Louis (throwing flour in people’s faces)

She might have been insane, it appears:
Yup.

Movies that were always on HBO when we would get the free trial:
WarGames
Rain Man

Movies that my family members quoted until the lines lost all meaning:
Rain Man
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
Sling Blade
This one terrible TV movie about Charles and Diana’s divorce that sells for a small fortune Stateside

Movie my parents bought because the dog liked to watch it, even though no one else did:
Snow Dogs

Movies that informed my notions of romantic relationships:
The Cutting Edge
Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken
A Far Off Place
The Bodyguard

Movies I watched chiefly because of the attractiveness of the actors therein, a la Tina Belcher:
Christian Bale dancing
Christian Bale living next door
Cute boys on a boat
Handsome guys cheating at baseball
That one where Bon Jovi is on a submarine with Matthew McConaughey

Movies that made me feel smart as a nerdy teen:
Contact
The Truman Show
Romeo + Juliet
Gattaca
10 Things I Hate About You

Movies I was so desperate to see I bought illegal, edited DVDs:
Garden State
Love Actually

Movies I watch when I’m sick:
Can’t Hardly Wait
She’s All That
Clueless
Persuasion (1995)

Movies that shaped my sense of style and aesthetics, to the present day:
Singles
Clueless
Troop Beverly Hills
Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Movies I have watched way, way, way too many times:
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
Citizen Kane
Casablanca
Pride and Prejudice (1995)
Hot Rod
The Saint

Movies with comically bad Russian dialogue and/or accents:
The Saint
K-19
The Hunt for Red October
The Bourne movies (Лштшфум Ащьф)
Independence Day

Movies I saw on awkward dates/group outings/group dates:
The Hulk
A Beautiful Mind
Hidalgo
Paradise Now
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Movie I slept through in a theater:
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Sequels I’ve seen without having seen the first film:
Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (well, sort of. I fell asleep in the theater.)
Toy Story 2
The Incredibles 2 (in Russian no less)
Ocean’s 12
Return to the Blue Lagoon

Indie movie I saw on an early date with my husband:
Children Of Invention

Movies my husband made me watch before we could get engaged:
Star Wars
The Empire Strikes Back
Return of the Jedi
Those other three ones

Movies I made my husband watch after he put a ring on it:
Roger & Me
Hot Rod
Escanaba in Da Moonlight
Love Actually (see above)
Glitter

Movies I don’t understand why everyone loves:
The Goonies
The Notebook
E.T.

Movies I didn’t see until later in life and now regret all those years not knowing:
Soul Man
Heathers
In the Mood for Love

Movie I have no intention of ever seeing:
Titanic

Movie my husband cannot believe I’ve never seen:
The Shawshank Redemption

Movies my husband and I quote most often to each other:
Summer Catch
Varsity Blues (this)
School Of Rock (this)
Bring It On
Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!
The Other Sister
The Saint

Possibly the best gift I have ever received:
Eddie and the Cruisers parts 1 & 2 DVD set

Movie I watched once in the middle of the night and told everyone was awesome for the next decade and then rewatched and was so embarrassed:
Thank God It’s Friday

Movie I’ve seen the first 15 minutes of, over and over, on an overseas flight:
V for Vendetta

Movie I watched in a hotel room in Denmark because it was literally the only thing on TV that wasn’t porn:
Hotel For Dogs

Movies I will sit down and watch every time they’re on TV regardless of how many times I’ve seen them/how good or bad they are:
Happy Gilmore
Tommy Boy
The Breakfast Club
Sleepless in Seattle
A Few Good Men
Dumb and Dumber
Office Space

Movies I think are dumb but I will hate-watch if I am in the right mood and have a potent potable:
The Jane Austen Book Club
Runaway Bride
The Last Song
The Lincoln Lawyer
Blue Crush

Movies I hate so much I can’t speak about them coherently for very long without just starting to make noises:
Garden State
Emma (1996)
Dan In Real Life
The Village

Movies in which I root for the “bad guy”:
The Sound of Music (Baroness Shraeder is awesome.)
Return of the Jedi (The Emperor)
Swing Kids (Christian Bale, that is, not, you know, Hitler)
Armageddon (the asteroid)

Movie I should have seen in a theater:
The Perfect Storm

Last movie I saw in the theater:
Austenland

Next movie I will see in a theater:
Casablanca, if I can drag the mister

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